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Self Care & Nurturing: Reconnecting to Your Own Wellbeing
A grounded look at what self care actually means when you’re tired of pushing through — and why it matters more than you think.
At some point — usually without fanfare — it becomes obvious you’re tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix.
You’re still functioning. Still showing up. Still doing what needs to be done.
But you’re doing it on reserve.
Not because you can’t cope.
Not because you’re failing at life.
Because somewhere along the way, care slipped out of the equation.
Not the Instagram version. Not the kind you plan for later. Actual care — the kind that steadies your system and makes life feel manageable again.
Most people don’t notice this shift straight away. They adjust. They compensate. They tell themselves it’s just a busy season. Then another one. Then another.
Eventually, something gives. Energy. Patience. Health. Joy.
Self care and nurturing aren’t extras. They’re the baseline that allows the rest of your life to work.
What Self Care Really Is
I tend to work with self care in three overlapping ways: nurturing, clarifying, and teaching.
Not as stages you graduate through, but as threads that weave together.
Nurturing is about meeting what’s already here — tiredness, overwhelm, tenderness — without trying to fix it first.
Clarifying is about understanding what’s actually going on beneath the surface, instead of blaming yourself or pushing harder.
Teaching is about learning new ways to respond that don’t require constant self‑override.
What makes this difficult isn’t a lack of information. Most people already know what would help. What gets in the way is the internal friction that appears the moment you try to follow through.
That friction isn’t random. It’s protective.
If you grew up in an environment where care was inconsistent, conditional, or simply unavailable, your system adapted. You learned to self-manage. To stay alert. To cope.
Those strategies may have kept you functional.
They also made self care feel unfamiliar — sometimes even unsafe.
A Quick Check-In
Before reading on, pause and notice what fits.
You keep going, but there’s a background tiredness that never quite lifts
You’re capable, caring, and responsible — and quietly depleted
Slowing down feels uncomfortable, even when you know it would help
Rest brings guilt instead of relief
You’ve tried self care before, but it never seems to last
This often shows up in small, ordinary moments.
You notice you’re exhausted — and open another tab instead of stopping. You tell yourself you’ll sit down after this one thing. You ignore the tension in your shoulders because it’s easier than dealing with it right now.
It isn’t dramatic. It’s habitual.
And it usually points to an old internal rule: look after everything else first.
Nurturing Is a Capacity You Build
Caring for yourself isn’t about becoming softer or less capable.
It’s about being properly resourced.
Most people weren’t taught how to do this. They adapted instead.
When care is consistent, your nervous system settles. When your nervous system settles, everything else takes less effort — emotions are easier to regulate, decisions are clearer, and you’re no longer recovering from your own life at the end of every day.
In my work, I see this most often with people who are highly functional on the outside and quietly exhausted underneath. They’re not falling apart. They’re just running everything manually.
How This Shows Up In Real Life
Below are some common ways depleted self-care capacity tends to appear. You don’t need to analyse these — just notice what you recognise.
Self‑Override
You’re tired, hungry, overwhelmed — and keep going anyway. Resting feels harder than pushing through.
Hyper‑Functioning
You’re the reliable one. Things don’t fall apart because you don’t let them. Inside, you’re running on fumes.
Guilt When You Pause
Slowing down brings discomfort rather than relief. Something in you feels like you should be doing more.
Productive Rest Only
Rest is allowed, but only if everything else is finished. And it never really is.
Loss of Signal
You don’t really know what you need anymore — just that whatever you’re doing isn’t it.
Delayed Collapse
You hold it together all day, then crash at night — scrolling, snacking, zoning out — anything to switch off without actually resting.
This is where many people get stuck. They try to think their way into self care. They make plans. They set intentions. They add another thing to manage.
That usually lasts about a week. Because self care isn’t a mindset problem. It’s a relational one — the relationship you have with your own needs.
For many of the people I work with in Remembering Who I Am, the shift happens when self care stops being framed as something extra and starts being treated as essential maintenance.
That work can take different forms — guided inner journeys that slow things down enough to hear what the system has been signalling, coaching that makes daily life less draining, or hypnotherapy that loosens old internal rules around rest.
The modality matters less than the outcome: learning how to stop abandoning yourself in small, habitual ways.
Why Self Care Can Feel Selfish
If caring for yourself feels selfish, it’s usually because your system associates care with risk.
Risk of disappointing people. Risk of losing momentum. Risk of feeling what you’ve been holding together.
So you keep going. You manage. You cope.
Until something — your body, your energy, your circumstances — forces a pause.
Self care isn’t indulgence. It’s maintenance.
We don’t call it selfish to service a car before it breaks down. We understand that ignoring warning signs makes the eventual repair more expensive.
Your nervous system works the same way.
Listening earlier isn’t weakness. It’s sensible.
Try This Reframe
Instead of asking whether self care is selfish, try noticing:
What happens in my body when I keep pushing through?
Do I feel steadier or more depleted after I ignore my needs?
If rest didn’t have to be earned, what would change?
What am I afraid might happen if I stop?
Your body often gives clearer information than your list of “shoulds”.
If this is landing quietly — more as recognition than insight — it may be time to relate to yourself differently.
Not by trying harder, but by learning how to listen and respond in ways your system can actually absorb.
This is what guided inner journeys are designed for: space to reconnect without forcing answers or outcomes.
You don’t need to arrive with clarity. You just need enough honesty to notice that something isn’t working anymore.
A Simple Reset That Actually Helps
Instead of adding another habit, start here:
1
Notice the Override
Catch the moment you push past tiredness, tension, or hunger. It might be standing at the bench scrolling when you should really sit down. Or staying late “just to finish up” when nothing urgent is actually happening.
2
Ask One Honest Question
“What would support me right now?”
Not what’s sensible. Not what sounds grown‑up. Just what’s true.
3
Respond Small
Choose the smallest action that moves in that direction. Five minutes counts. Sitting down counts. Saying no without explaining counts.
This is about rebuilding trust with yourself — imperfectly, in real time.
Meeting the Pattern That Learned to Go Without
Set aside ten quiet minutes with a journal, a cup of tea, and as little pressure as possible. You’re not designing your whole life here — just listening for what’s ready to be heard.
Journal Prompts
Take a few quiet minutes and reflect:
When did I first learn that my needs were optional?
What did staying busy or useful protect me from?
What feels risky about slowing down?
What would change if care was assumed, not earned?
If nothing comes immediately, that’s fine.
This isn’t a test. It’s an opening.
Choosing Care Without Turning It Into Another Task
You don’t need to keep guessing who you are underneath the roles you carry.
Care becomes sustainable when it’s grounded in what actually matters to you — not what you think you should be doing.
If this article stirred something in you, that’s useful information. It usually means your internal compass is active — even if you don’t yet know what it’s pointing toward.
A Clarity Call is a focused first step. Bring your questions, your uncertainty, even the sense that you “should have figured this out by now”. We’ll meet what’s actually there and look at what support would be most useful.
You’re allowed to take this at your own pace. There is no rush. Just the next honest step.
About Sharon Burnett
Quantum Coach · Trauma-Aware Practitioner · Hypnotherapist · Quantum Healing Facilitator
Sharon supports people who feel overwhelmed, disconnected from themselves, or unsure who they are beneath the roles and expectations they’ve carried for years. Her work blends emotional safety, grounded clarity, and deep inner exploration to help clients reconnect with their true self — the one behind conditioning, perfectionism, burnout, and survival patterns.
Drawing on a trauma-aware, nervous-system-honouring approach, she guides clients through gentle yet transformative processes that help them understand their inner world, heal longstanding patterns, and make grounded decisions that feel authentic and aligned.
If you’re seeking clarity, direction, or a deeper sense of self-trust, her work offers a safe and supportive entry point into understanding your inner landscape with more compassion and confidence.
Take The Next Step On Your Journey
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